June 20, 2007 by Kara.

I’ve recently come to a new conclusion.  Saying no doesn’t have to be painful - in fact - it can be the most freeing experience of your life.

By nature, I’m a person who wants to please.  I like to meet deadlines.  (Okay - so you wouldn’t know it from my blog posting schedule and the fact I didn’t keep it up very well - but two posts in four days - I’m getting better).  I like to help people.  I believe in leaving things better than the way I found them.  I also have a deep seated interest in learning about new things, improving the quality of life for those around me, and doing good works.  But sometimes, you have to say No.

Saying no is critical to not letting your system get bogged down and ending in a lack of productivity because you procrastinate or simply avoid doing that which you’ve said you’ll do.  I find at the points when I’m the most stressed, the most worried about something, the most troubled is when I have said yes to a project or task that I really didn’t know how to do or really didn’t want to do - but saying yes was easier than saying No.  Why was it easier - it’s always easier to say yes than to say no.

When you think about Saying No in the context of GTD, I realize that saying no actually refers to two of the “four d’s” - do it, defer it, delegate it, drop it.  In fact, if you want to be truly honest about it - saying no to doing it yourself actually covers 75% of those items.  Only do it - make it an actionable project, right now, that you let into your own system - is actually saying “Yes” to something.  The other three imply that it shouldn’t enter your sphere of doing - but should go into someone else’s or not be done at all.

I recently got better at saying No while trying out a little stint on eLance.  I’m taking a cruise in a few months.  I can pay for the cruise with savings, but am looking at buying a new house in the next few months so really don’t want to dig in my savings right now.  I decided I could try out eLance for a few months, make a quick few bucks and be on my way.  I’ll write more about the eLance experiment later, but let’s just say that not all jobs are for me.  Here were my quick steps to determining whether to accept a project or not accept a project:

1. Does it have a clear objective? If the person requesting the project can explain it to me quickly and easily and includes the deliverables they expect and the timeline, then move on.  If not, say No.
2. Is it a project that fits in my job description? When freelancing, this is more of a thing of whether it fits your talents, abilities, and interests.  But, I’ve applied this in my 8-5 as well - does it really belong in my work unit or does someone else more naturally have all or most of the parts and pieces that go into this.  Now - this one is tough because you can become “that person” who shoves their work off onto everyone else.  I find it’s easiest to do my parts - fill in everything that does belong to me - and not hesitate to send other people’s stuff to them to do.
3. Are you getting good feedback from the requester?  I’m still negotiating a couple of eLance projects - and just said no to the biggest dollar bid I’ve had up until this point.  Why?  Because it’s taken two months for the person to approve the bid and now there is a huge checklist of things they want from me immediately.  I’ve followed up every week for two months - trying to get information from them on when this will start - after getting an initial indication that I was going to be awarded the project - and heard nothing.  Yesterday I was awarded the project and need to have the outline to them by Monday.  Obviously, if this was my prime mode of making money then I’d have no choice but to give up my weekend plans and take on this project - but as an experiment I realize it’s not for me and I can say no.
4. When the project doesn’t fit with your passions - Again, in the 8 - 5 world this doesn’t always work.  But, in the advent of a world where we can begin to create our own destiny through freelance projects and freelance work I’ve found it’s easier to not take a job that doesn’t fit with who I am as a person.  I’m happy to take jobs and assignments that help me grow as a person but if a job conflicts in any way with who I am, I simply say no.

Saying no doesn’t have to mean you’re not committed… Another thing I’ve come to realize is that saying no doesn’t mean I’m not committed to something.  It just means that what the person is asking for at the moment I can’t give.  I would love to give to far more charities than I can - give of my time, my money, and my talents.  I can’t do it all - and neither can anyone else.  It doesn’t mean that I’m not committed to doing my own part.  Care about the environment - recyle.  Care about help others - give blood or donate your old items to a charity.  Practice a random act of kindness.  You might restore someone’s faith in the decency of humanity.

Saying no doesn’t have to be painful…Finally - I hate saying no.  But, it’s important you tell the person no - not in a way that is harsh - but in a way that simply communicates you’re not the right person for the job at the moment - for whatever reason.  There are lot’s of guides to saying no, but one that I like is at OnlineOrganizing.com.  I particularly feel it’s important to decline something when you know if you do say yes the best you’ll be able to do is a mediocre job. 

What ways do you use to decide to say no to a project?

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March 5, 2007 by Kara.

I used to consider myself a good multi-tasker.  Then, several months ago, I started to feel drained - constantly.  I would be pushing things around - doing little bits of three or four projects at a time - without the opportunity to finish one, get that since of accomplishment, and move on to the next.  For a week, I tried to do a good job of only doing one thing at a time - no multi-tasking.  Since I keep a pretty detailed journal of the tasks I complete on a daily basis, I realized I was getting as much done doing one thing at a time as I was trying to work on three or four things at the same time. 

In my opinion, multi-tasking came about when email and our first rounds with internet connection came online.  Early internet connections were slow - hence we would load a web page, wait while it loaded, and then could go back to it once it loaded.  In essence, multi-tasking came about because we needed to fill that time while the page loaded.  (I once had a dial up connection so slow I could make breakfast while the page loaded).  As faster connection speeds has come about our need to fill that void while pages load has ceased, but our urgency to try to do multiple tasks at one time has not.  We still think of ourselves as multi-taskers and so we try diligently to live up to the expectation of doing multiple things at the same time.

In this same vein, the amount of information not only to which we have access in order to make decisions, but also the paths that information can take to get to us have increased tenfold in the last five decades.  Crackberries, IMs, emails, multiple email accounts, RSS feeds, cell phones, voice mail, unified messaging, and much more have forced their way into our personal space and we allow them to constantly draw our attention from what’s important (relationships, personal growth, happiness) to what’s urgent (fires to be put out, projects to be completed).  What if we turned off all those items for a day and focused on the really important stuff? 

I’m interested in the studies that say information overload is actually good for us and that it can allow our brains to make more connections between topics and expand our horizons a bit.  While I certainly don’t disagree with that at all, I also believe that we need points of rest and that those points need to occur more often than what they probably do right now.  I often use an analogy that was included in a humourous Internet post about cats and how they are “distracted by shiny things”.  All the information coming into us in all these formats comes as a myriad of shiny things which draw our attention.  However, if I also learned a lesson from my cat, it’s to take frequent rest breaks (my cat takes full on, sleeping on his head he’s so out of it, naps).  Our bodies and our brains need a chance to digest information, think about it, process it, and then determine what we can do with that information that might change the world.

So, while information overload might be good for us, it’s also important to set limits - delete a few emails that aren’t critical for you to read, without reading them.  Say no to a project or an idea - even if just for now.  Spend time with your family, your coworkers, your staff in a supportive environment - rather than just a run, run, run type of world.  Take time for yourself - doing something you truly enjoy.

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February 13, 2007 by karamonroe.

Have you ever had that discussion with your parents - you know the one where you are unhappy with your job and you’re looking for a change because of all the stress, chaos, and simply the lack of passion for what you’re doing. And when you do have the discussion, the parent (in my case my father), get’s that glossed over look in his eye and says - you haven’t seen stress until… or you don’t know what work is until… 

Please don’t get me wrong.  He has worked harder in his 65+ years than I probably will work in 90+ years if I’m blessed to live that long.  However, times change dramatically with each generation.  His experience with work was different than his fathers and mine is different than his.  Not only are the contexts and the environments in which we work different, but we are different people.  Not terribly different, but different enough for me to know that I can’t work because it’s a good job with good pay and good benefits if it doesn’t interest me or feed my passion for living. 

I like a posting at StartupSpark on how you’ll know you’re an entrepreneur (You can also find the listing at lifehack.org).  I don’t think you have to necessarily own your own business or jump into a start-up company to be an entreprenuer or at least have an entrepreneurial spirit.  I certainly have held positions where I felt like an entrepreneur.  I loved the work, I loved the people whom I served and whom I worked with, I had a passion for what I was “selling” (and for that matter still do even though I haven’t been in that position for more than three years), I lived my work, I was always looking for new opportunities - both to extend what we were doing and how we were doing it and, most of all from the StartupSpark list, I think that I was always prepared to say, “I don’t know but I’ll figure it out.”  That is the part I’ve lost in my current position.  I can easily say I don’t know, but the I’ll figure it out part - that passion to answer the next question, conquer the next challenge, fill the next void, just isn’t there in this job. 

So dad, for you, please know - I don’t really think I have it bad.  I just want more.

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February 11, 2007 by karamonroe.

So, today is the first day I am implementing the new daily routines.  Let’s take a look at the constraints of my day.  I work a typical 8 - 5 job but don’t punch a time clock.  My job is about 50% interruption driven (that’s probably a conservative estimate) so any plan I have once I get to work is often quickly derailed by the latest emergency.  (I’m part facilities director/part finance director/part IT director - hence why so many interruptions - as soon as email goes down it becomes the most pressing issue I have to deal with - all the rest of my tasks be damned).  Therefore, I want to get my day off to and close my day off with a nice routine process that helps me center for the day.  So here is my proposed daily routine:

Morning Routine

1. Wake at 5:30.  I’ve been doing this for years, but not getting up - I normally hit snooze several times so the goal here is to get up and get moving.
2. Fix hot tea, water, or fruit/vegetable juice and an appropriate breakfast.  I typically grab a diet coke and pack of pop tarts, even though I know I feel better if I grab a piece of whole wheat toast and glass of V8 juice.
3. Pack lunch for the day if applicable.  Many days I have lunch meetings so this doesn’t matter, but when possible, I want to start packing lunch.
4. Do blog post. - my accountability mechanism
5. Meditate/Read/Pray - start my day centered
6. Feed, water, walk cats/dog.
7. Shower/dress for the day.

My Evening Routine

My goal here is to get to be by 10 p.m., hopefully to sleep by 10:30.  This means the following routine:

1. Take care of personal items (brush teeth, wash face, etc.)
2. Clean litter boxes/check pet food/walk dog
3. Turn off TV at 10:00 p.m.
4. Read until sleepy, but no later than 10:30.

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February 11, 2007 by karamonroe.

I was doing some reading over at Life Hacker today and came upon a post by Leo, auther of Zen Habits, regarding his 12 habits.  In this post, Leo identifies 12 habits he is going to adopt, apparently at least one per month over the next twelve months.  (This is clearly stated so it could also be assumed Leo is going to adopt all 12 habits and track progress on each for a month to ensure the habit is adopted).  As I read Leo’s post, I thought about how many of the items I am concerned about in my life really reflect habitual processes - relearning a way of viewing something or relearning a method for doing something so that it becomes routine or habit.  So, I thought I’d share my 12 habits for the next year.  My goal is to implement one of these habits per month and track progress on each one.  So, my 12 habits to be adopted are:

1. Develop a morning/evening routine - My mornings and evenings (bedtime) are currently a hodge-podge of different activities which aren’t repeated with any form of regular consistency.  I don’t eat breakfast every day, don’t complete the bible reading I’ve pledged to do daily, don’t make my bed, don’t turn off the tv at a consistent time each night which research says will help me sleep better.
2. Stick to a budget - I’ve tried this before but always fall off the wagon.  However, as that I’m planning to finally buy a house this year, sticking to a budget is going to become far more important. 
3. Reduce my debt - Once again I’ve let my credit cards get a little higher than I want them to be, so I’m planning to develop a plan to reduce debt.  Obviously just one month in this habit isn’t going to do much for me, other than perhaps developing a plan.  However becoming more aware of my spending, thinking more about purchases (being more frugal), etc. it will probably be the most valuable month of the year.
4. Drink more water and take vitamins - This one kind of relates to the first, however, I drink entirely too much diet soda and I don’t take vitamins to get some extra calcium, which as a female I desperately need to prevent osteoporosis later in life. 
5. Eat a healthier, homecooked diet - This is really two items in one.  It’s entirely too easy to eat convenience take out food, even though I love to cook.  I have a wealth of healthful cookbooks/recipe resources - just need to spend some time putting them to use.
6. Use GTD/DIT Concepts to be more productive - I’ve been using GTD for the last eight months and feel as though I’ve gotten some additional productivity as a result of this so far, but know that I’m nowhere near the proverbial black belt which David Allen discusses.  In addition, I’d like to implement the concept of Mark Forster’s Do It Tomorrow Closed Lists as I think that the large scale Next Action/Waiting For lists are still too overwhelming.
7. Keep a cleaner home - I’ve put this as item number 7 specifically because I think by that time in the year (seven months from now), I’ll be in my new house and ready to really finalize what it is I’m doing with keeping my home organized and neat and clean. 
8. Read more regularly - I have a huge list of to be read books.  This habit has nothing to do with me not reading enough - it’s simply that I don’t make the time to read the books I wish to read (those on my to be read list).  Perhaps this will become a part of my routine.
9. Exercise at least five days per week for at least 30 - 40 minutes per day - I want to lose some weight.  I want to be more fit.  Exercise is a great way to meet both of these goals.  Whether it’s an evening walk around the neighborhood with the dog that gets longer regularly (good for both me and puppy) or doing sit ups while I watch Grey’s Anatomy there are a lot of easy things I can do to make this habit a reality.
10. Stop complaining - I used to be a healthfully optimistic person.  The world wasn’t all rose colored glasses, but I saw my glass as half full far more often than half empty.  A confluence of activities - a job I don’t enjoy so much, surrounding myself with some more negative people, some general depression - have joined together and I’m not that same positive person.  In a step back toward that aim of being more positive, I plan to stop complaining.
11. Rediscover what motivates me - I’ve never been a huge procrastinator until the last year or so.  I really feel like this is related primarily to the items I’ve mentioned in item 10 above.  When you simply aren’t as happy as you’d like, it’s more difficult to be motivated.  So hopefully the placement of this item in number 11 and my plan to work on these sequentially, this one will find me in a new place (perhaps a new job, a new house, and the adoption of 10 new habits by that time).
12. Reconnect relationships - I’ve struggled lately with keeping relationships with family and friends where I want them to be.  There are no major problems here - no big break up, etc.  I just want to be a better friend, sister, aunt, daughter, co-worker, etc.

So, there you have it - my 12 habits I pledge to adopt over the next year.  I’ll keep you up to date as the year progresses.  Who knows - perhaps even a second post on my already gathering thoughts on how to adopt my new morning/evening routine.  How about sharing your 12 habits in the comments.

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